Overcoming Driving Anxiety: Why Fear Feels Safe - and How to Break Free

Jodie Phillips
Jul 31
6 min read

Updated: Aug 1

Overcoming Driving Anxiety Why Fear Feels Safe - and How to Break Free - Me again therapy

If you are new here or you’ve been following for some time, you may be feeling more curious about how to overcome driving anxiety. If just thinking about driving makes your heart beat faster, you’re not alone. You’re trying to stay safe in the only way your body knows how. Often, the body’s response is quicker than our conscious thought, which is why it can feel like a wave overwhelming you, urging you to slow down or stop the car.

I get it, when I first experienced a panic attack behind the wheel, I thought it was some out-of-body experience. An innate urgency that something was wrong, and the only clear answer at the time was to pull over and stop. Easier said than done, as I was on the motorway driving at 70 mph and overtaking a HGV lorry. Marry that with the closed hard shoulder, and I started to flip out. Thankfully, the closest services were only a mile away, but I felt like I limped that whole mile to get to safety.

I did stop, I ate and took some time to try to reconcile what had happened, but I had no choice, I had to get in the car and drive home. But this post isn’t about “pushing through,” it’s about understanding what your body is trying to tell you, validating the fear, and guiding you toward peace.

What Driving Anxiety Feels Like

I’m more familiar with what a panic attack now is, but at the time, I was clueless, and if I’m honest, I didn’t know what anxiety was either. I soon experienced a fast track into the wonderfully scary world of overthinking, overwhelm, and sheer terror as the following months continued. In a way, I think it made it easier to seek help because I couldn’t continue like that. I had never been worried and didn’t identify with it. I wanted it gone, but not before I tried to consider every possible option first! But that’s what anxiety is, right? Isolating, keeping it to yourself, trying to figure it out, imagining all of the what-if situations so that you’ll be prepared, even though rationally you know it will never happen.

But that was 10years ago, I’ve since learned that although there are some common symptoms of panic and anxiety, it can be very nuanced as everyone experiences it in their very own way, depending on their previous life experiences, based on their contributing factors, and including how you tend to cope with life in general.

In my experience, it was a weird wave of energy which felt like it quickly built in my chest and flowed down my arms and out of my arms, where as others experience it as a wave of overwhelm, both physically and emotionally, or physiological symptoms such as racing heart, shallow breathing, dizziness, numbness, or tension. These can be the catalyst to overthinking, dread, guilt, shame, and so much more.

10 years later, I’ll let you into a little secret: driving anxiety is very common. You’re not dramatic, you’re not crazy, you can be a good driver and still fear it. These symptoms could be you protecting yourself, just maybe too well.

I often describe to new clients that by having anxiety, you already have the skills to overcome the problem; you simply need to direct your attention to an alternative outcome. In short, overthinking, creative, and imagined futures are superpowers when focusing on the solution rather than the problem.

The Safety trap - When fear becomes the cage - Me again therapy

The Safety Trap – When Fear Becomes a Cage

Once established, especially during a significant event such as a panic attack or even an accident, it can be very difficult to escape the cycle of fear. When fear is created, your mind and body start sounding the alarm that you should avoid the “thing” which is causing your fear, whether that’s a motorway, speed, a specific road, or even traffic lights. Although this results in temporary relief, it reinforces the fear and can lead to avoidance altogether.

And the problem with avoidance is that your mind thinks it has saved your life, so as soon as you try to get back on that same road or build the courage to drive over a speed which feels comfortable, it starts to sound the alarm again, and if you don’t pay attention, that alarm gets louder. It might be in the form of an inner voice or critic, or it might be a visceral reaction such as panic or dizziness, and overwhelm. It’s like living in a fortress with no doors; you feel safe, but also stuck.

And here comes the rub: the longer you avoid driving, the safer you feel, and yet the longer you avoid driving, the harder it feels to get started again.

The hidden emotions toll: Isolation, guilt and loss of confidence - Me again therapy

The Hidden Emotional Toll: Isolation, Guilt, and Loss of Confidence

Anxiety likes to keep you safe! The no. 1 job of the subconscious mind is to keep you safe and free from harm, and it will pull out all of the stops if it thinks you are in danger. Anxiety, when in the right balance, is good, it’s that part of the mind which gets you to step back from the kerb because a bus is travelling faster than you expected. Bot, when out of balance, it can keep you too safe, stuck, and it robs you of having any fun!

The problem with being too safe, stuck, and watching the fun times disappear is that you don’t get to take your kids on an impromptu fun day out. You miss out on days out with your friends. You start relying on others for lifts, and you start to lose your independence.

You might even start comparing yourself to others, “Why can she do it when I can’t?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Where did all of my confidence go?” and you can go down that self-pitying wormhole if you want, I sure did, but I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with you. This fear has a reason – but now it’s outlived its purpose.

I know what you’re thinking: if it was that easy, I’d have figured it out by now, and you’re not wrong, but trying to think yourself out of the problem is only adding to the problem; those skills you have, your superpower, you’re still directing them at the problem. And having experienced driving anxiety myself, I know no amount of overthinking was helping me to get better; in fact, it was making it worse.

Rewiring the Fear: Hypnotherapy and Gentle Mind-Body Work

Let me introduce the solution: Hypnotherapy to overcome driving anxiety

I am in the unique position to have used hypnosis to overcome this fear myself, and I’ve spent the last 5 years helping others to overcome the struggle of driving anxiety. Whilst no two clients experience the same anxiety, there are many commonalities. Anxiety can be considered the overestimation of the threat and the underestimation of your ability to cope with the threat.

Hypnosis helps you to lower the perceived threat whilst increasing your ability to cope, feeling calmer, able to deal with a road that used to cause you alarm. It allows you to make changes on a subconscious level that no amount of overthinking can do. It helps you feel safe in your body and to feel in control of the situation as you learn to transition from panic into confidence. It allows you the space and time to gain insight into where the fear was established, whilst letting go of any emotions or limiting beliefs which are keeping you stuck.

You don’t need to get on the motorway tomorrow, you just need to make time to work in that direction. I will never tell you what drive to take or how long you should spend time in the car. Curiously, you’ll know when you start to feel better as you quite naturally build your confidence and enjoy driving again.

Serena had been struggling with driving for 4 years; she felt anxiety whenever she was more than a few miles from home. As the anxiety grew, she found herself increasingly saying no to invites as the thought of being too far away was overwhelming. After a few sessions, she was able to drive further and further afield, able to get in the car without the urgency to get home as quickly as possible. Simply put, she wanted to get in the car without worrying. I witnessed her progress each week as she focused on a family trip to Lincoln, being able to go away without worry and fear.

The results in her words were;